Just Fix My FREAKING Internet.....

I had big, big plans for today. I was going to get up early and get my craft fair stuff all done, head to the store, do laundry, etc (you get the idea). Anyhoo, I got Brielle and Lainey off to school and sat down to check my e-mail. Well I had no internet connection. I call Qwest and after chatting with ROBOT MAN that answers the phone, I finally decide I probably need technical support since my internet is not working and that would, in my opinion be a TECHNICAL PROBLEM! I get this guy, Dennis, who must be at the end of his shift or something because he is absolutely NO HELP whatsoever. The funny thing about him is that I swear the man is in Pakastan or somewhere over in that part of the world because he has this accent. So he asks me my name and I tell him, "Jillynne". He then says, "Hello JOANN, let me check your account." So I give him my phone number and he says, "Who is Jillynne?" I say, "That's ME." Then he says, "Oh, okay JOANN." I mean come on dude!! Then he tells me that my service has been disconnected. Whatever!! Then he puts me on hold to call the "Business Office" to see if they can tell him whay I've been disconnected. Then he gets back on the phone to tell me that the business office isn't open and to call back in 30 minutes. Umm, Dennis it's 9:00 am where I live. I would hope that the business office is OPEN at 9 AM!!! So I hang up and call Qwest right back and go thru the whole spill with ROBOT MAN and decide to pick the BILLING option because I want to know why my internet has been disconnected. I get this girl and she puts me on HOLD AGAIN. Then my phone line went dead and of course I lost her. So I wait a couple of minutes, hoping my phone comes back on and whew, it did. So I call back, get ROBOT MAN again and select BILLING again and get a guy named STEVE. He looks and asks why I've requested that I have a new internet provider. I tell him that I've had Qwest internet for 3 1/2 years and have NEVER called to request that I have a new internet provider. So then he puts me on HOLD agan and I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait and finally he comes back on and says that he can't figure out why there is a work order on my account for FEBRUARY, 2009. I tell him again that I've never called Qwest requesting work on my internet and all I want is for my internet to WORK!! Then he puts me on hold again and I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait until he comes on and tells me that he is going to e-mail some lady supervisor to tell her my problem and it should be fixed really soon. So then I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait for him to type this e-mail to this lady that is suppose to figure out my internet problem. He tells me that someone will contact me later and let me know what the problem is. I thank him and hang up 45 minutes after my first call.

So the morning, comes and goes and it's afternoon. I run my kids to the dentist at noon, get home around 1 pm and check my internet. Still NO CONNECTION. I keep telling myself, wait a little longer. Finally at 2 pm I call again and decide to chance TECHNICAL SUPPORT again, hoping to get someone who speaks a little better ENGLISH. Well, the guy I get this time has a worse accent than the first. But he has me check my modem, I give him my modem number, blah, blah, blah. He then decides he can't fix it and puts me on HOLD to transfer me again. By this time, it's time to take Lainey to dance class so I hang up and we drive to dance. On the way I decide to call QWEST AGAIN!! I decide once more to try BILLING, so ROBOT MAN directs me to that department. I get another lady who says that I've called to request another internet provider. UMM, LET ME SPELL THIS OUT FOR YOU!! I DID NOT CALL AND REQUEST ANOTHER INTERNET PROVIDER!! Again I'm put on HOLD and I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait until I get DISCONNECTED AGAIN!! By this time I'm at the dance studio and I'm a little IRRITATED. I promptly call again. I do have the number memorized for anyone who wants to call QWEST (1-800-244-1111). This time ROBOT MAN directs me again to BILLING and I get a guy named TYRONE. He asks what he can help me with today. Umm, FIX MY FREAKING INTERNET PLEASE!! I tell him that he is the 5th person I've talked too and all I want is some kind of answer on why my internet is not working. He then looks at my account and says whoever helped me before pretty much messed up. Are you KIDDING ME??? So again, I'm on HOLD so he can figure out what us wrong. Again, I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. He finally comes on and tells me he's figured out the problem and is transferring me to some guy named ZEUS (I think that was his name). So Zeus gets on and says "So you're having a problem with your PHONE LINE?" Okay, I try and keep my cool because I am standing in line at Roberts Crafts. In a calm voice I say, "No, it's not my phone line, it's my INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!" The guy sounds a little perplexed and tells me that he is going to run a test on my phone line to make sure it is okay. Of course he tells me that my phone line is good and he is going to TRANSFER me to ANOTHER DEPARTMENT. By this time I am just about ready to hyperventalate. So as I am on HOLD waiting for the next guy, I notice that the commercials that I am listening too are different that the ones I've heard before. I actually have HOPE that I may be getting somewhere. But again I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. Finally I get this guy. I can't remember his name, but I'll call him INTERNET HERO MAN or, IH MAN. He asks me how he can help me and I calmly say that he is the 7th person I've talked to today and I give him the whole spill about what is wrong. He looks at my account, puts me on HOLD AGAIN and I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.... By this time I've been on my cell for 48 MINUTES. Finally he comes back and tells me that basically the people I have talked to previously have really screwed up. So he is going to see what he can do to fix it and INSTEAD OF PUTTING ME ON HOLD, he asks for my PHONE NUMBER so he can CALL ME BACK!! Good thing too. My cell phone was dying. So I feel a little better that IH MAN actually may know what he is talking about. Sure enough about 20 minutes later, IH MAN calls back and says he has my internet working, but I have 256 MB internet, but I only have 64 MB (basically Dial-up speed) running thru my wiring. He then sets up a tech man to come to my house on Thursday to check all of my wiring FREE OF CHARGE because of the hassle I had been through. I felt like screaming HALLAFREAKINLUYA! I LOVE IH MAN !!!